Dear Amzter,
Never talk about relationships online.  As a general rule I'd just say try talking to him as much as you can in person.  When you're in person, there are alot of visual aids that might spark discussion.  Go out in a group with him and some of each of your friends,...then find a way to get away from them, so it's just you two.  A few things you could try to get him to talk once youve got him alone...
(1) Talk casually and if you come near something that makes you think of a relationship, try to fall silent, maybe he's thinking the same thing, give him a chance to talk.
(2) Direct approach.  Sit with him and just say, "have you ever thought about a relationship?"  That may be a little broad but it's worked before.
(3) Have you ever tried talking about a small flaw in yourself?  If there's a little detail you can beat yourself up about near him, if he wants you chances are he'll try to defend you...against yourself.  If you do this, be sure not to obsess, nobody likes a self pathetic whiner.  Just if you happen to find an inspiration...example:
You're talking about a singer, you start singing a little tune quietly, stop, "oh sorry, my voice is awful", he'll tell you it's pretty because if he likes you he'll suck up to you all he can, even if it really is awful, then you thank him for his kind personality.  Then you can work into a relationship conversation.

Anything can be turned toward yourself, your special friend, or your relationship
be creative
hope it all works out, good luck
*Advisor*


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ok well heres the thing. i liek this guy but i dont know if he likes me. i dont know him very well and i want to get to know him more so we talk online alot. i dont knwo how to give him clues that i like him. ive heard form one of his friends that he mite have a thing for me but i dunno how to be sure. i was thinkin maybe if we talk about relationships then we could get into a good discussion but i dunno how to bring up the discussion of them. what are some topics and give me some advice on my situation plz :)

amzter

Dear Riku Girl,
The voice of experience speaking on this matter.  You are at a time in your life when alot of things are going to be changing in every aspect of your life.  Your friends who are mad at you, you've known them almost half of your life by now.  People will start to be going their separate ways and the worst thing you can try to do is conform.  You will meet others, and as you get to your high school you will find that there are others like you, and in alot of cases, the goths are the sweetest people you'll meet if you understand them. 
That being said...I'm not by any means saying give up on your friends...but 6th grade through 8th grade, junior high, they are bound to be the cruelest years of your life.  It'll be uphill from here, so smile. If you've tried your hardest to set things straight with your friends, my advice would be not to crowd them.  I understand that you've been friends for a very long time, but chances are the best thing to do when all else fails is not to fight fire with fire if you feel it would come down to that.  They can fight you with fire all they want, but it won't do them any good to blow fire into an ocean.  You keep trying to reestablish friendship with them, but if anyone is being insulting to you, you don't even need to dignify them with a response.
Keep being you and let the cookie crumble how it will.
Then eat the cookie, it's a comfort food.
*Advisor*

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dear, Advisor
i have a huge problem im writing in tears as i type my best friends since grade 2 are mad at me. they say im mean and harsh but im only mean and harsh to people who make fun of them. I Tried apologizing  like a millon times but nothing has happened also i cant get new friends since i go to a small school and everybody else thinks im weird and goth cause the way i dress, on dress down days. and i cant join clubs since my parents wont let me. There passing notes about me and im really upset. but what really hurts is that one of the girls is my best friend in the whole world. but now she wont talk to me its like she hates me... we have been through so much this is are last year together since were going to high school soon  What should i do? please help....

                      ---Riku Girl

Dear Puchiko,
Unfortunately the law is the law.  When you're legal voting age you can run for a government position and try what you want.  But for now I'm afraid all that you can do is be decent and fair about the entire situation.
Yes, your father has made mistakes, but wanting to visit you shouldn't be one of them.  You have every right to be angry with him and he knows it.  This is most likely why he chose not to discuss this with you.  The fact of the matter is, you are legally excluded from the court system in this so try to think of your father as you did before this entire ordeal.  If he won't listen to you, find someone who will.  A confidence is an emotional must when you're going through tough times like these.
With regards to using you and your sister as passage to your mother and possesion and visitation...
Your father had the right to decide over visiting rights because by law, you are half his.  This doesn't mean you have to be another posession, keep trying to talk to him.  Make sure you talk to your sibling, it's important that you know where eachother stand.  Never be taken advantage of.  If you feel that your father is trying to use you, remember that you are with him on Saturdays to visit him.  Not to be his messenger or to make decisions on behalf of your family.
Be mature about the situation and always hear what he has to say.  Just because he won't always listen to you doesn't mean that you should in any way deny yourself the knowledge of what he may be thinking.
Stay strong, you'll have an audible voice in less than a year.
Keep thinking, keep communicating, always try to understand.
*Advisor*

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Dear FM Advice,

Well, to make a long story short, my Dad cheated on my mom and now they are getting divorced. To decide on visitation rights, i have to see him every Saturday for 90 days. I don't want to see him, but i can't do anything about it because i am 1 year under age to have my say in court. I tried to talk to my Dad about it, but i found out it was his idea to do the 90 day thing. I asked him why he didn't tell me before he did it, and he said he thought it didn't matter. Every saturday is really annoying and he's using me and my sibling as a passage to my mom because he wants more things from our house and he wants to have equal visitation rights with my mom. I still haven't gotten over the fact that my Dad did so many bad things including creating his own porn.. because it has only been a few months, but my dad thinks i should forget about the past. My dad is now dating again with women he cheated on before. I've had a long talk to him before, but he still won't change his manners or actions. Is there anything i can do about this visitation bussiness or anything i can say to my Dad?

Confused friend,
You're writing because you're unsure of your actions, but you do know what you have to do, you're just looking for someone to back you up on it. You know what the right decision is, and i suggest that for the sake of your friendship and to keep things the way they always have been that you dont violate the relationship you already have. However, due to lacking details i dont know if you only want to remain friends. To remain friends you will be wise to stand up to him and tell him if your going to stay together as good friends, this has to stop. however if you would like to go further with him and apply benefits to the situation, be slow and careful about your actions. Just remember to keep in mind how your actions will affect you in the long run.
Signed,
Glary

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advisor,
u left a message in my journal and then i read urs and saw it was an advice site.. i need some advice.
heres my story
I'm really good friends with this guy and i love hanging out with him and being good friends but the things..now he wants to do "stuff" its not like bad stuff like sex or nething but "stuff" if u know what i mean.. well heres my problem should i or shouldnt i.. is he just doing this because he wants to get some or is he doing this because he likes me? im confused.. he does things though sometimes that make it seem liek he likes me but im not sure
can you please give me some advice?
thank you so much
~confused friend~

Dear confused about love,
I'd like to take a brief moment to revert to childhood icons who taught lessons that cannot be forgotten. 
"Someday we'll find it,...the lovers, the dreamers, and me"  -- Kermit the frog.
That may seem a little out of the blue but it ties in nicely.  You are yourself, you are a lover, and I want to bring you back from dreamland.  I don't want to sound to frank with this, but I agree with your friends's first thoughts.  Personalities don't come out of nowhere.  He had that new person you're seeing  in him for a long time.  Some people may tell you that you can change a person, but it's really one of the biggest relationship lies you will ever hear.
It's unfortunate that things got as far as they did with him harboring that tendency of abandonment.  But feel fortunate that it didn't go as far as marriage before you found out.  It probably seems like a huge fall to the bottom from where you were, but you have to be ready to climb that ladder again when you can grab hold of it, and this time you'll know which rungs to avoid.
Be a lover.
Keep dreaming.
Never stop being yourself.
If you kill yourself today, you'll never open your eyes to see what tomorrow has in store, never even think about suicide.
*Advisor*

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dear advisor,

last year around march i met this really cool guy that i started liking. he eventually asked me out and we dated for about eight months. it was a great relationship, we were like best friends always on the phone and always doing things together.. in the begining many of my friends thought all he wanted to do was get into my pants. but instead we fell in love...or what i thought was real love. and when you say you want to stay with someone for the rest of your life i thought that meant something. but i made a mistake in our seventh month of going out and one night i got real drunk and we had sex. now this changed the whole aspect of our relationship to something totally different. i never thought wed ever fight but we started to. and a month later he told me he thought we should break up. this killed me inside and i was suicidal for while. i didnt know what to do without him. he seems like a totally different person right now and i dont know what to do...i think i still need him in my life. what should i do, should i tell him i still love him,...im so confused at this point...maybe it was for the best???

signed, confused about love.